Breaking the Fart Barrier One Christmas at a Time

Ok, I have some catching up to do.  I have been running around with the kiddos and my husband...honestly...I don't know if it's the meds or just life, but I feel like I am in a time warp.  Where the hell does time go when you have kids?  And the whole, "I can't even remember the last time I went to the bathroom thing let alone what I did last Tuesday."  Insanity.  But I love it.  So we shall carry on.  Have I told you about my best friend?  My BFF?  My biffle?  My sister from a different Mister?  She shall be known only as "I-E" here.  Because in an alternate universe, which most likely involves mountains and a lot of aliens, that would be her name.  She would be a top-of-the-line alien BFF model that only 1% of the alien population got to have.  Because in that alien universe, wealth would be measured by relationships and the quality they hold.  So what I'm saying here is...I'm a rich mother frackin' alien.

Yesterday, I had the privilege of completely spoiling my best friend for her Christmas gift.  Much to my surprise, she obliged and let me carry out the night's events.  It was splendid.  And much needed.  She has gone above and beyond in her friendship duties this past year for my entire family.  I am not too sure what I would have done with out her in our lives.  She stepped in and assumed any role we needed her to fill, with out our asking.  I wont bore you with specifics, she knows, I know, that's all that really matters.  What IS important here though, is that you take something away from this.  Something everybody needs to be reminded of.  Something you sometimes need a rude awakening about.  And this is something she has frivolously taught me in the 4 years of our very meant-to-be friendship: "In order to heave friends, you must BE a friend." 

We all get bombarded with life's expectations and responsibilities.  What a demanding Bitch that "life" can be.  But; speaking from personal experiences, when life puts you on hold and you find yourself in solitary confinement from such life due to health issues...alone...in a hospital bed...maybe repeatedly...the only thing you really have left are your relationships.  Everything else is truly secondary.  I recently read an article by a retired Hospice nurse.  It was one of those weird articles floating around my FB wall and I happened to click on it.  In this article, she went on to explain that the #1 thing every Hospice patient (she has ever consoled) regretted was; undeniably, lost friendships.  We have a tendency to place family above all else.  Which I believe is healthy to a certain extent, but please, let people in a little.  You are bound to get hurt, BOUND TO.  But in my experience, the few who laugh with you, move furniture for beer with you, and step into family roles FOR you are some of my most important people.  So, with out further adieu, here is how I made one of my important people feeeeeel important. 

The night started out like any other, it was a cool Georgia night in December.  Most of the heat and immediate humidity only bouncing off of nearby Christmas lights for once.  So, in our excitement to make things warm, we blared Joe Nichols' "Sunny and 75" song.  It was girl's night...so the windows had to be let down, if only for a brief chilly moment so that our lungs could properly expand while belting out the lyrics.  Our excitement for the night shows:

I'm special, ya'll.

Next, we managed to snag the most annoyed, hormonal, angry nail technicians we have ever had at the local Nail place.  We're lucky gals.  They only made us laugh more however, especially when we caught ourselves counting to 3 and telling our toes and fingers to "smiiiiiiile."  We've been around 2-year-olds far too long apparently...

We bid adieu to the angry nail women and headed over to Outback Steakhouse.  The food Gods were not on I-E's side however because they seemed to be out of everything she wanted to order.  But that's ok...she had a ginormous present hindering her view from food anyway.  The starvation diet with perks...that's what we are going with here...keepin' it positive.  Oh and hi, that's me being lovely and not at all embarrassing.  *wink* 

Once our bellies were full and we were absolutely sure we needed to bring sage back to Outback and the Nail place in order to rid the buildings of evil horrible service spirits - we went to get lotto tickets.  They were drawing for the Mega Millions last night...and I'm calling foul because we should have won.  In fact, I want a redraw.  Lets do that...

 God bless that girl, she means the world to me. 

She also means the world to her boyfriend "B-Y" apparently.  She excitedly advised me last night that they exchanged their first "I love you's."  Which is absolutely adorable.  I mean, at 29 - gasp - years old, most of my friends are married with children or established in long relationships.  So to experience the excitement of someone you love telling you about saying "I love you" for the first time to a special guy, is awesome!  It made me feel young and giddy again and the only reasonable response that could possibly come out of my mouth hole was, "YAY!  It's like you broke the fart barrier!"  That instant sense of relief to know, that he knows, that you know, that it's ok for each of you to know, that you are in love - or - err - farted.  And if you have absolutely no idea what I am talking about here:

1. you should question the validity of your current relationship. 

And 

2. You need to click on this link.

So Merry Christmas "I-E"...you are the best alien friend from an alternate universe in which I am rich that I could ever ask for.  I can't wait to see what 2014 has in store for you.  

Now go out there my little chickens, frolic, don't let life hold you back, no matter your age...and BE a friend.  <3