When I think back on my childhood, a couple memories immediately stand out. Mostly all of them involve my mother. Who is; by the way, the most non-helicopter, helicopter mom you could imagine. That's an insane description, I know...but it's the best I could come up with in this moment. God bless that woman. And I say this with the utmost love and affection because dammit, I am my mother.
Holy Shit.
I am a paragraph into my first blog and I just admitted something so deep and dark, the pit of my soul is now looking to feel empty again.
**I don't want to hold your puppy, much like you don't want to hold my baby**
Ok, there. Empty soul once again.
Moving on...
My mother was the Queen of ridiculously cheesy sayings, one of which being, "GOD, I feel like WE ARE GETTING NOWHERE FAST!" This was mostly used in our Tan 1980-ish GMC box van as a prequel to my mother inevitably flicking someone off in traffic. She thought I never saw that. I aaalllwwaaayyyssss saw that. And I use "aaalllwwwaaayyysss" sternly because Lord knows my sister and I grew up in that van. Actually, in a couple vans. I totally saw that. We spent a good chunk of our childhood driving around the U.S. in those things, listening to my mother read every single billboard out loud, watching horrifically as our father WILLINGLY detoured around all of Lake Superior per her commands, and being forced to eat healthy fruit on cross country trips rather than my Father's surplus glove box full of Ho-Ho's and Twinkies. THE HORROR. Ok, there's a point here, and it is: When you hear someone say, "I feel like I am getting nowhere fast," watch out. There is most definitely a finger flick, a couple curse words, and a spout of anger to follow that statement. I mean really...have you ever had that dream where you are literally running and getting nowhere? Holy hell. That is an insane amount of frustration.
Life can be like that sometimes. There are years when everything just...works out. Then there are years when you honestly start consciously tracking good deeds in hopes that your luck will soon turn around. After about a couple of those, you get to a point where you feel like you are running without air. I'm going to be blunt here and say, the last couple years have been pretty shit-tastic for us. That is a fabulous mixture of fantastic shit if you were unaware. I have been at my highest and my lowest in the past two years, multiple times, but what has gotten me through is my amazing husband, a couple "getting nowhere fast" freak outs, and yes...my mother. I have so many reasons to be thankful, I think they deserve an entirely separate blog post. I'll save you the agony of reading about that for tomorrow, ya know, since it's Thanksgiving n'all. I just wanted my first blog to acknowledge my pivot in life. I'm taking life's tragedies and running with them this time and I am so incredibly lucky to have my Husband and Mother through it all. There's no two people I would rather flick life off to with.
<3 <3
